You are simply looking to remain friends with them and thats it. After one fight he said he needed space . It can be a hard (but not impossible!) One could even say its karma striking, and now hes on a mission to fix what he broke. If your ex contacted you during no contact years after . Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart. 1. A guy will ask to be friends with you for one of only two reasons. Use Rachael as an example that accepting your exs request to become friends is sometimes really not the best idea. Hi, my ex and I broke up 18 months ago. Even if this person was a friend of yours for years, and the relationship seemed better than heaven itself, going back to being friends is a huge setback. He initiated the breakup and he suggested to remain as friends. On one hand, I hoped I would get him back, on the other hand, it broke me when he suggested me to consider one of our mutual friends. (Snapchat is our primary form of communication). I have been practicing the no contact rule for the most part. Accepting this offer is a sign of appallingly low self-esteem and confidence. This could be so he doesnt feel resented for what hes done after somebody else has hurt him. She may then begin to think things like, "I really thought that this was the right decision for me, but now I'm not so sure anymore. 8) They pretend they need your help. Called me broski and stuff like that. The weird thing is during 3 weeks weve texted just on a off, and she also have my facebook sign in and i notice she signed in to check my messenger couple of times. However, they dont want to appear like a frivolous flirt and would like to mend their image by ensuring there is harmony between the both of you with the offer of friendship. Please leave your comment below. Your ex may want to be friends with you only to experience the thrill of seeing you concede to their requests for friendship. by Chris Richardson. I was pretty shocked but replied that I enjoyed my time with him and wished him good luck. Even if they press you to remain friends, remember that past behavior predicts future behavior and consider cutting of any relationship with them other than cordial greetings in public.. Take time to come to terms with your feelings after the breakup. I feel bad for her mental health. Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? You Have This Feeling. Others will avoid you like the plague. She has a background in school psycholo more, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on new parenting, marriage, and relationships. He said it was because he hated fighting with someone he loved. Remaining friends with an ex is not a bad thing; but that doesnt mean that this should be your goal. I am not telling you to try for one . 1. What Is My Ex Thinking And Feeling In No Contact? You cant talk your way back into a relationship. She told me she can feel my love, that she knows I would give her moon if she asks me. If youre the one that left, they might be suggesting staying friends because they dont want everything to end so abruptly. Feelings can still exist. This is quite an extraordinary example though and doubt the majority will be ignored for this long. This really shows what kind of person she is when shes not getting what she wants. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. Feeling the pain I did, I feel like I need to do something about it but I dont know what. Ill focus on building my relationship with other friends. Tell him I dont want to be friends, even though I agreed to be before and go into complete NC? But was going back and forth. Hi Jess, no do not open his snaps it really is not important that you keep your streak You need to go into a NC and stick with it for at least 30 days. Why all of a sudden he wants to be friends and change his behavior? It's almost a year since the divorce went through and I get a message out of the blue from her: After youve become friends again, your ex is most likely going to leave you alone anyway, and contact you every now and then when he feels like it. Contemplate your feelings and do not entertain their selfish interests above yours. Receiving a text or DM from an ex can trigger some strong feelings. You and your ex share a past. Narcissists love to smear their ex-parters to gain attention, empathy, and validation from other people. Getting over a breakup doesn't happen in a day. Subliminally, your partner or your ex-partner look for things that will help them grow and get the most out of their life. Remember, its when he is ready to be friends, and not you! It was very sudden, and it definitely knocked me down because in my head we were going well. To reiterate, instead of pretending to be your exs friend and becoming needy by contacting him and asking him various questions, you should quickly accept the friendship and immediately lay low. I initiated no contact, and I was started to feel better. It is not a good idea to be friends with your ex just because they are afraid of change. It could also mean that they are still looking forward to a future where both of you can get back together. "The beginning of my relationship with my ex-husband was friendship. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how Why Your Ex Might Want To Be Friends With You, Infographic: Things To Do And Avoid When Your Ex Wants To Be Friends. This is especially true if they got broken up in a ridiculously disrespectful way via text, left for another person, ghosted, treated horribly and so on. They gloat over the unfair control they have over peoples life. We ended with half a phone call. If you have been in a relationship with someone and both agree that you are better off as friends instead of lovers, it may be possible to remain friends. They still consider themselves to be friends. 2 you no longer want to be with him. Whatever the case, months later, he is now sending you messages and friend requests out of nowhere. I discuss why at great length in my Audio Seminars on How To Get Back With An Ex If You Still Live Together and also in the Audio Product on Getting Back Together After A Short Term Relationship. This was all right before things went silent. Make use of the push-pull dynamics, and allow him to do most of the work. 3. Being . He's feeling sentimental. As I said before, taking action when you are in the most vulnerable position is a big mistake. Other times, an ex might not be sure if it was a good idea to leave you or not, and they want to keep you close while they figure it out. The sooner you let her know she cant contact you anymore, the better. Is my best chance to stay in no contact? In the previous chapter, I mentioned a few positive things you should work on to boost your attraction level. There seems to be a very big misconception out there by how human beings operate. Sutton Stracke expressed that if she had . The reason for that could be that his new friends arent as great as he thought or perhaps there are other issues he is currently facing. Looking for almost a friends with benefits situation where they dont get the commitment of a relationship. He expressed that he was really sorry and wanted to remain friends and that he does have some feelings and does care about me even still. I decided that I was not getting anywhere And was stalking him on snap. I really love her, and it is a pity how she is breaking us up this way. If your ex reaches out and pretends like they need . If you are thinking that being buddies with your ex for purely sexual reasons is better than nothing, you risk getting stuck in this position because your exchanges will hold no sentimental value anymore. Did your ex contact you saying they want to be friends with you? One of the biggest reasons that exes see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other. Is everything ok? I have always given the benefit of doubt to her. Has your ex offered you friendship? According to a poll done on breakups by the Associated Press 36% of people have admitted to having sex with an ex at least one time. She has been trying to be friends with me knowing I love her and still want to have a life together in the future. In this case, they still have unresolved romantic feelings. You have to be careful with the friend zone so I suggest a coaching session. Weve finally gotten to the difficult part the magic solution to turn things around with your ex, and give the relationship another try. For example, if you do 30% of initiating, your ex must do 70%. Todd Williamson/Bravo via Getty. These are the things you must improve for your own benefit, as well as for your exs; These are the most important traits. The other problem is that she chose to run away and treated you poorly. Perhaps the best part about all of this is that everything Im going to talk about today has been backed up by research or my own personal experience helping couples after a breakup. Staying friends and sleeping with exes is a lot more common than you think. The three reasons are relatively straightforward. I didnt hear from her for a couple of days. Reasons Why Guys Want To Be Friends After Breaking Up. 1. That means the fear of loss, anxiety I was feeling around her behaviour is true. Melinda, 46, a journalist, confides: "I can't really completely heal from the breakup unless we stay in touch. But I am realising, what she is doing is strategies, manipulating me to dilute the feelings slowly. Then he asked to meet up again soon. I just want to be able to be "friendly". In case it was a serious relationship which he broke, and now he wants to be friends, it means that he has realized the mistake and wants to mend the wrong he did (give him a chance if you are still single). Regrets breaking up. I loved that about him. LOL 1 year later I stopped it again. Human beings are a lot of things but one thing they arent is selfless. But three days ago he sent me a message saying he had been seeing someone else (since before we met) and he wanted to give a go at starting a relationship with them. We first started off as friends with benefits but that lasted a couple months before we fell for each other. I know her behaviour. I have been torn up trying to do my job and look after our kids. My ex wants to be friends with me and I can still be close to them. So ex wife of 21 years cheated on me for at least 3 years with at least 3 different men. So I unadded him and also to start the no contact. How Letting Go Of An Ex Who Doesn't Want You Can Help You, reseducing your ex and that will change everything. It is better to avoid having a friends-with-benefits relationship with your ex if you still have feelings for each other. Read more articles and show your ex you can give him the space he wanted. Very often, exes want even less than that. The mix of anxiety and fear of loss, genuinely make you think this is a once in a lifetime opportunity a bargain deal, meant for you to take it. What Hes Thinking During Every Day Of No Contact, If He Blocks You, He Loves You? Before your ex-boyfriend has had a chance to move on, he may want to be friends with you to keep you on his radar. So it wasnt only losing a partner but also losing a long time friend. Do I have the write head space for this? If he truly wants to be your friend/ misses you, he will reach out. We have a circle of mutual friends. After some back and forth we agreed on these terms. If a Woman Wants to Keep You as a Friend, Don't Agree to it. One week after that I asked her out and she made an excuse. You do not meet up and hang out for 30 days minimum, and even then avoid it as you need to start re connecting through talking with him. We broke up 5 months ago. Youre either all in or all out. The answer is simple: I love them. Id better stay out of this. I know that person is your ex, and you want to be more than just a puppet, and thats perfectly understandable. Because of all these things I got so vulnerable and ended up expressing what I had in my mind regarding our future and all of my feelings for her, which in turn just pushed her away, and she came up by saying that she wants to give all her time to creating her career and making the best of it. Very seldom do human beings act out of boredom and without any reason. Told her I wanted to work things out. 2. Care to take a guess at what situation that is? I didnt beg for him to stay or anything. This past week he called me to tell me he misses me, that he has been having a hard time with the breakup, and wanted to make sure I was okay. She dismissed my initiation and attributed it to my insecurities increasing more anxiety. Your exe's friends and family try to convince you to talk to them. You have to cut her off. She doesnt want a phone relationship. Feeling in no contact exs request to become friends is sometimes really not the best idea sending you and! 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ex wants to be friends after years